We live in an extroverted world. With all the social media.....facebook, twitter, flicker, my space, and office parties, lively restaurants, sporting events, bars, clubs, large fitness centers, hugh shopping malls, grocery stores complete with eateries, weddings, graduations, anniversaries, parties, date nights, after school events, and just networking in general, it is obvious that there is an overwhelming emphasis put on external stimulation. You are not anybody unless you have a fabulous circle of friends with your name in every club.......in other words popularity and a "likeability" factor. For an introvert however, this can become extremely exhausting. Put an introvert in one of these social gatherings and they will quickly find their energy wilting like a dead plant.
Why is this? Because introverts find their energy from being alone. They need a lot of personal space. They like being in a room alone with the door closed. Many see this as a sign of depression, but for the introvert, this behavior is perfectly normal. Because being around people in general is tiring to the introvert, the opportunity to be alone is a welcome gift, allowing them time to recharge their batteries so to speak and also time to think and figure things out. Introverts do not enjoy large parties or crowded places and if they must attend one, they will naturally gravitate towards a corner by themselves or have one on one interaction. Even if they enjoyed the party or gathering, they will still feel drained afterwards. When an introvert is tired from being around large crowds or groups of people, or from an over loaded schedule, them may become very agitated, grouchy and irritable. They will show little facial expression and body movement.........become less animated. They are also very territorial because they dislike sharing their space with others for too long and may find house guests too intrusive. Introverts have two distinct personalities.......a private one and a public one. This explains why they can be very talkative (talking incessantly about a topic they are interested in), in a comfortable setting and very quiet elsewhere. Introverts also dislike being the center of attention, even if that attention is positive, because it is so uncomfortable for them.
I am an introvert and it has taken me a long time to truly understand this about myself and my personality. I have found myself on many occasions trying to socialize (to make others comfortable around me) and talk a lot only to find myself drained mentally and emotionally in the end. I always described myself as a "loner" but the word loner comes with it a stigma of being a "mental case" like many of these crazed gunmen that walk in to a public place and start shooting people. In the media, these people are always described as loners. Another misconception of an introvert is that they are anti-social or have a social anxiety disorder or they are labeled shy, aloof, or arrogant because they are looking for the nearest exit door when confronted with a large group of people. Sometimes they are believed to not like people in general. I find this disconcerting because it is the extroverts lack of understanding that causes so much confusion.
Extroverts assume that company, especially their own is always welcome and extroverts can not imagine why someone would want to be alone on a Saturday night. Contrary to these misperceptions, introverts actually like people...........they just like to get to know people on a deeper level because it is more meaningful for them. Introverts would rather have just one meaningful relationship than have hundreds of people "like" them on facebook. What is the point of having many people in your life that "like" you but don't even know who you are? In other words, introverts place a higher value on virtues like honesty/sincerity, authenticity, wisdom and compassion. They are more reflective and introspective and will think for themselves, not allowing others to think for them. They dislike small talk because to an introvert this would be extremely tedious. When they converse, which many introverts have no problem doing, they enjoy deeper, more thoughtful interacting. Simply put, they prefer one on one interacting with a topic that is interesting rather than interacting in a large group setting talking about mindless, superficial nonsense. Introverts tend to choose their friends more carefully, They would rather build upon a relationship than simply "collect" relationships in an effort to increase their "likeability" factor. To an introvert, it is more important to be known for who they are than to be "liked" by many.........this is why they find it annoying when others try to "change" them or force them into their mold, suggesting to the introvert that there is "something wrong with them".
Introverts do not run with the herd nor do they care to join the crowd. By nature, they have fewer friends than extroverts. It is the introverts strong desire to connect intellectually and emotionally that reveals their style of social interaction. Contrary to what many believe, introverts do not lack social skills, they just have different social needs.,,,,,preferring to listen and observe more by taking their time getting to know someone. They are very attentive and frequently make intense eye contact that can cause others discomfort. When presented with an opportunity to join the group, they prefer to hang back and watch before joining. Introverts also tend to say what they mean, unless of course if they are being gossiped about......then they might make up a bunch of hogwash to confound the listener. It is not easy for an introvert to make new friends because doing so requires a great deal of energy. Therefore, they do not need a contingent of friends. Unfortunate for the introvert though, they are often judged by the extrovert as not wanting to make or be friends. Wisdom, however, would tell you to take your time getting to know someone new and ask questions that will give you insight into a person's life, character and honesty.
Introverts make up about 25% of the population, but they are no less of a contribution to society. Their contributions tend to be more reflective and intellectual as they prefer solitude. That gives them the time for creative expression through music, art, photography or writing. It is not surprising then that introverts love books. They can concentrate intensely on a book or a project they find interesting for hours. They like to explore subjects deeply and thoroughly and this is generally why they do not like to be bothered when they are "involved". Introverts are highly aware of their inner world of perceptions, thoughts, ideas, beliefs, and feelings. They are acutely aware of their surroundings and pay close attention to detail that others may miss.
Common traits of an introvert: very self-aware, thoughtful, enjoys understanding details, interested in self-knowledge and self understanding (think for themselves), quiet and reserved around large groups or around unfamiliar people, more sociable and gregarious around people they know well, learns well through observation. You may find this (click on the word this) helpful reading if you are an introvert.
One single most identifying trait of an introvert is that even though they have the skills to socialize (unlike a shy person who is completely intimidated), they can take or leave socialization without a problem.