An unexamined life.........do you have one?

How often do you take time to think about your life in general........where you are goal wise, where you have been and where you are going? Do you ever think about deeper things such as a more important purpose in your life? What ideals guide your life? What principles and values (if any) create a spark or desire to live above the status quo? In our fast-passed society, it can be incredibly challenging to take the time to think about these things much less to even have a desire for something deeper and more meaningful.

I have met many people through the years that didn't seem to have much depth or insight into their character and life. Trying to reach beyond a two inch puddle of their soul would be a waste of time. And yet this is precisely what is missing in so many people. This is why you are confronted with a steady stream of mindless nonsense. So many are just existing with no real direction, like a rudderless ship going round and round in circles just waiting to die with no real impact made around them. Principles don't seem to anchor their lives giving them something deeper to stand up for and ideas are void because their mind is filled with cluttering thoughts and man made materialistic goals.

Truth, Justice, Righteousness, Courage and Authenticity are examples of a solid anchor by which to guide your life and give you meaning and purpose beyond the superficial nonsense that is so prevalent in our culture. And yet so many are afraid to take hold of these meaningful virtues even though they are the very virtues that will set you free and will make a tangible difference.

Government CPI.......Fact or Fiction

The CPI or consumer price index is used by the government as a benchmark for everything from social security payments to the value of treasury inflation bonds. Government workers are sent out monthly to collect prices from many locations in various cities to determine the cost of goods, products and services. They feed that information into a data base in Washington where statisticians compile the monthly CPI.

Although these methods are standard price-gathering for many countries around the world, what more educated folks really see is a government campaign to hide inflation of 10 percent or more. Anyone who grocery shops today relative to 5 years ago knows immediately that inflation has come if not hyper- inflation. So why are we lied to by our government and why does the Fed Chairman prevaricate the real issue? Do they think we simply are not sophisticated enough to know the facts right in front of us.......that coffee, candy bars, meat, sugar and many other household staples have nearly doubled? And what about healthcare? That's the understatement of the decade! While wages remain stagnant, one dollar today can't even get you a candy bar. It is suspect of course that the government purposely keeps the CPI low as to give very moderate COLA increases, if any at all. In fact a low CPI is conducive for the government because it saves money on COLA for social security, union contracts and inflation adjusted bonds that are benchmarked by the CPI.

John Williams who runs the website www.shadowstats.com has an alternate, more realistic measure of inflation. He places it at about 10 percent for 12 months compared to roughly 2.7 percent from the government CPI. He states the economy is nearing hyper-inflation. The real inflation rate is somewhere around 2 percent below the prime rate, roughly 7 percent. One can not imagine that the Fed can continue to print money to a tune of 1 Trillion a month to buy bonds (aka Quantitative Easing) while maintaining the value of the dollar. I frankly see an engineered crisis (and who doesn't) leading to a methodical plan to systematically destroy the dollar....the world's currency. Is it any wonder why we keep raising the debt ceiling? Because more money can be printed. But this is just an illusion because it appears out of thin air like magic from a printing press. Fiat money has no intrinsic value because their is nothing to back it up but an endless imagination of speculation. This in turn leads to runaway inflation. A US bank note, if printed today, would be backed by a gold standard giving it intrinsic value thereby increasing its value. With Fed notes, money is worthless because it has lost it's value giving it the term fiat money.

It's as good as toilet paper......all you need now is a marble toilet for your golden turds that smell like lilacs. Isn't your butt hole valuable enough to wipe with a Ben Franklin?

Being an Introvert in an Extroverted World.

We live in an extroverted world. With all the social media.....facebook, twitter, flicker, my space, and office parties, lively restaurants, sporting events, bars, clubs, large fitness centers, hugh shopping malls, grocery stores complete with eateries, weddings, graduations, anniversaries, parties, date nights, after school events, and just networking in general, it is obvious that there is an overwhelming emphasis put on external stimulation. You are not anybody unless you have a fabulous circle of friends with your name in every club.......in other words popularity and a "likeability" factor. For an introvert however, this can become extremely exhausting. Put an introvert in one of these social gatherings and they will quickly find their energy wilting like a dead plant.

Why is this? Because introverts find their energy from being alone. They need a lot of personal space. They like being in a room alone with the door closed. Many see this as a sign of depression, but for the introvert, this behavior is perfectly normal. Because being around people in general is tiring to the introvert, the opportunity to be alone is a welcome gift, allowing them time to recharge their batteries so to speak and also time to think and figure things out. Introverts do not enjoy large parties or crowded places and if they must attend one, they will naturally gravitate towards a corner by themselves or have one on one interaction. Even if they enjoyed the party or gathering, they will still feel drained afterwards. When an introvert is tired from being around large crowds or groups of people, or from an over loaded schedule, them may become very agitated, grouchy and irritable. They will show little facial expression and body movement.........become less animated. They are also very territorial because they dislike sharing their space with others for too long and may find house guests too intrusive. Introverts have two distinct personalities.......a private one and a public one. This explains why they can be very talkative (talking incessantly about a topic they are interested in), in a comfortable setting and very quiet elsewhere. Introverts also dislike being the center of attention, even if that attention is positive, because it is so uncomfortable for them.

I am an introvert and it has taken me a long time to truly understand this about myself and my personality. I have found myself on many occasions trying to socialize (to make others comfortable around me) and talk a lot only to find myself drained mentally and emotionally in the end. I always described myself as a "loner" but the word loner comes with it a stigma of being a "mental case" like many of these crazed gunmen that walk in to a public place and start shooting people. In the media, these people are always described as loners. Another misconception of an introvert is that they are anti-social or have a social anxiety disorder or they are labeled shy, aloof, or arrogant because they are looking for the nearest exit door when confronted with a large group of people. Sometimes they are believed to not like people in general. I find this disconcerting because it is the extroverts lack of understanding that causes so much confusion.

Extroverts assume that company, especially their own is always welcome and extroverts can not imagine why someone would want to be alone on a Saturday night. Contrary to these misperceptions, introverts actually like people...........they just like to get to know people on a deeper level because it is more meaningful for them. Introverts would rather have just one meaningful relationship than have hundreds of people "like" them on facebook. What is the point of having many people in your life that "like" you but don't even know who you are? In other words, introverts place a higher value on virtues like honesty/sincerity, authenticity, wisdom and compassion. They are more reflective and introspective and will think for themselves, not allowing others to think for them. They dislike small talk because to an introvert this would be extremely tedious. When they converse, which many introverts have no problem doing, they enjoy deeper, more thoughtful interacting. Simply put, they prefer one on one interacting with a topic that is interesting rather than interacting in a large group setting talking about mindless, superficial nonsense. Introverts tend to choose their friends more carefully, They would rather build upon a relationship than simply "collect" relationships in an effort to increase their "likeability" factor. To an introvert, it is more important to be known for who they are than to be "liked" by many.........this is why they find it annoying when others try to "change" them or force them into their mold, suggesting to the introvert that there is "something wrong with them".

Introverts do not run with the herd nor do they care to join the crowd. By nature, they have fewer friends than extroverts. It is the introverts strong desire to connect intellectually and emotionally that reveals their style of social interaction. Contrary to what many believe, introverts do not lack social skills, they just have different social needs.,,,,,preferring to listen and observe more by taking their time getting to know someone. They are very attentive and frequently make intense eye contact that can cause others discomfort. When presented with an opportunity to join the group, they prefer to hang back and watch before joining. Introverts also tend to say what they mean, unless of course if they are being gossiped about......then they might make up a bunch of hogwash to confound the listener. It is not easy for an introvert to make new friends because doing so requires a great deal of energy. Therefore, they do not need a contingent of friends. Unfortunate for the introvert though, they are often judged by the extrovert as not wanting to make or be friends. Wisdom, however, would tell you to take your time getting to know someone new and ask questions that will give you insight into a person's life, character and honesty.

Introverts make up about 25% of the population, but they are no less of a contribution to society. Their contributions tend to be more reflective and intellectual as they prefer solitude. That gives them the time for creative expression through music, art, photography or writing. It is not surprising then that introverts love books. They can concentrate intensely on a book or a project they find interesting for hours. They like to explore subjects deeply and thoroughly and this is generally why they do not like to be bothered when they are "involved". Introverts are highly aware of their inner world of perceptions, thoughts, ideas, beliefs, and feelings. They are acutely aware of their surroundings and pay close attention to detail that others may miss.

Common traits of an introvert: very self-aware, thoughtful, enjoys understanding details, interested in self-knowledge and self understanding (think for themselves), quiet and reserved around large groups or around unfamiliar people, more sociable and gregarious around people they know well, learns well through observation. You may find this (click on the word this) helpful reading if you are an introvert.

One single most identifying trait of an introvert is that even though they have the skills to socialize (unlike a shy person who is completely intimidated), they can take or leave socialization without a problem.

Wow! What a Catch!

Alexander Nuttall caught this Pacific Blue Marlin weighing in at 958 lbs., in Kailus-Kona, Hawaii. This epic battle took her over 1 and a half hours to reel it in! 

This has always been a fantasy of mine........to catch a Great White or something like this big Marlin and conquer it by reeling it in! To take on a challenge like this and to actually succeed would be the ultimate dream come true. However, I know I would definitely have to overcome sea sickness because the last time I went out in the ocean to fish, I was chumming all night! It was in Belmar, NJ and I went out on a charter boat called the "Golden Eagle" to go blue fishing and was that ever a nightmare of sea sickness.......dreadfull. Whether or not dramamine works, I don't know, but next time I will be sure to use it!

Caregiving.........the stresses. the tolls, and the rewards!

My family. From clockwise........my oldest brother Tim, my cousin Mike, my mom's uncle Carl and his wife Dot, my Aunt Em and her daughter Karen with her daughter (Karen is my other cousin), me, my other brother Scott, my mom and of course Grandma in the chair.

When I was in my early 20's and still living home with my mom, she took in her mother to care for her on a full time basis. Hazel, my grandmother, had dementia, several TIA's, mild MS and was quite a handful. By the time I was old enough to have a mature relationship with my grandmother, she had already progressed into the disease of alzheimers and dementia. When both my grandparents were still living in their old large home, they had regressed to the point where they could no longer take care of such a large home, not to mention getting up and down the stairs so my mother, who is a RN, arranged for them to move into an apartment in Spring Lake NJ with a full time live-in caregiver. Not long after that, my STUBBORN grandfather Les, fell and broke his hip which led to his demise. So my mother had the option of placing her mother in a nursing home or taking her home with us. We had since moved into their large home in Wall Township, NJ.  She chose the later.

I helped daily with the care of my grandmother and let me tell you it was not easy. Now I knew what "stress" was because before this, my oldest brother and I managed a small convenience store for 3 years and because we could find reliable help, we basically ran the store ourselves which led to burnout. I quit after 3 years and went into teaching aerobics and personal training to which I truly enjoyed.

On one of my outings with Grandma. I had to take her picture. She looked so happy.

Taking care of Hazel was stressful. She was frequently non-compliant, combative, agitated, and had full blown "sundowners". She once burned the coffee maker to the stove! She had to be watched and sometimes sedated 24 hrs. a day. To mitigate our stress, my mother and I frequently took Hazel out and about on shopping trips and vacations. But again this did not come without stress. She was incontinent and we made her wear diapers, but she hated them and would constantly take them off and wet and soil her pants making our job so much more difficult. She constantly complained that it was either too hot or too cold, too dark or too bright, she would not eat her food or she would pretend like she was eating her food, but then would spit it out into a napkin and throw it away or she would give her food to the dog.

One time when I was watching her, my mother asked me to pick up a VCR that was being repaired and I strapped her into the car and locked it, leaving the windows down a bit and I said to her, "Grandma, I will be right back. I am just running in to pick up a VCR". She said to me "Ok". Within only 3 minutes, she managed to get unstrapped, unlocked and out of that car and she walked into a doctors office to use their bathroom to which she then flushed her diaper down the toilet causing it to overflow. So this was just one of many incidents that were incredibly stressful. The worst part of all of it was when strangers would give condescending looks of disapproval or make unsolicited comments in judgment about our sometimes impatience with her as her caregivers. Until one has been a caregiver and has gone through the everyday stresses and strains of this work, no one has the right to judge. You must walk in the caregiver's shoes to understand.

Grandma and me at Longwood Gardens. She never knew my name.

Now there were rewarding times such as this  picture to the left. This was one of our daily outings with Grandma. We took her to Longwood Gardens and she enjoyed that day. We took her to the boardwalk and the beach, especially Cape May and we took her on many road trips, staying in hotels and "honeymoon" suits. We drove the Blue Ridge Parkway and went to Grandfather mountain in North Carolina. We took her to upstate NY and stayed at the Mirror Lake Inn. We took her up to Vermont and visited Stowe and Killington and we took her to Great Adventure Park in Jackson NJ. She rode the Parachuters Perch with me. So we had many fond memories, but through the years of taking care of her, the stress took its toll on my relationship with my mother. We had a falling out and I moved out and to this day, my mother and I do not speak much.

My mom, me, and Grandma in Williamsburg, VA. We were visiting the college of William and Mary. This was taken at the zoo. We visited zoos often because Grandma loved looking at the animals. This is when my mom and I were really close and had a great relationship. She basically was my best friend but that has all changed now which I am saddened by but you have to deal with the cards that God gives you and find His purpose in the pain.

In the end we all have to live with the choices we make on a daily basis, knowing that as long as we do our best, even though it will never be perfect, it should be enough to make a difference.

Quote of the Day

"IF IGNORANCE IS BLISS, WHY AREN'T THERE MORE HAPPY PEOPLE IN THE WORLD"?

In loving memory of my dad who passed away on Friday July 26, 2013. June 11, 1937- July 26, 2013

My dad with his college buddies out West in 1959. He is at the far right. Most of his college buddies went on  to become doctors and university professors. One is a professor at Purdue University and another in a retired ENT doctor and they always called my dad "Grub" to which he still is.

Another pic of them out West in 1959. Again my dad is on the far right..

When I graduated High School in 1990, I was living on the Jersey Shore and had been for many years. I have many memories of the Jersey Shore from back in my teenage years but I know now the Jersey Shore has changed much from the destruction of Hurricane Sandy. My dad at the time was living in King of Prussia, Pennsylvania and I decided that I wanted to "spread my wings" and move over there with him. I lived with him for about a year and we did a lot of things together. We had a portrait taken to remember and I am so glad we did that.

 This picture I took of him. We always had the camera out and I think it is because of him that I love taking pictures. I even inherited his Nikon old 35mm camera with a telephoto lens. My pop loves the out doors......he is much older now to get out and about like he used to but he is still the same to me and hasn't changed one bit as far as I am concerned. He will always be my dad.

Here he is at Valley Forge Park. We frequently went to Valley Forge to take pics. As you can see he has his camera. He loved slide film and many years ago when I was a toddler, he had a dark room and would develop his own film.

These pictures I took but they are here for memories and I shall never forget them. Most of what my dad enjoys, I enjoy too. He loves History and especially WW II aircraft. In fact when I was a teenager, I used to go to the air shows with him and my brothers. He has built many WW II models and has many documentaries on WW II. He served as a medical doctor in the air force during the Vietnam War and was stationed in Thailand. I just recently received a tapestry that he bought from there and laid it out in my living room and it sure looks jazzy!

This was our trip out West. I have another post on my blog of our trip out West. When my dad moved out here in NW PA back in 1994, he was working at the Ridgway Hospital. I at the time was living on the Jersey Shore and when he told me he was living in Ridgway, I could not even find it on the map! I had no idea where on earth Ridgway was. Sorry Ridgway folks!



So he came and got me and for two weeks we toured the West through Colorado, Utah, New Mexico and more. This was during the annual balloon festive every year in October in Albuquerque, New Mexico. This was serendipity because we had no knowledge of any balloon festive.

This was our trip to upstate New York and Canada. I was a teenager at the time and we took this trip out of pure spontaneity. We only had planned on going to some rock quarry in Allentown PA but ended up going to Montreal. They all speak French up there. This picture was taken by me in the Adirondacks in upstate New York. 

This picture he took of a preying mantes. He loves these insects........always had a fascination with them and this was taken a super close up lens.

I know the folks around here may know my dad to some degree but this is the dad that I have always known for many years and even though my mom and dad divorced many years ago, neither has gotten remarried and I do know that they still love each other as I love both of them too. One day in Heaven, the Paradise that Jesus spoke of,  we will all be a family again, just like it used to be and that is my HOPE!